When I die I want written on my tombstone ""Finally Offline"".
Two muffins are baking in the oven, one muffin turns to the other muffin and says ""man its getting hot in here"" and the other muffin turns back to him and yells "" ahhh!!! a talking muffin!!""
Apple Store robbed The Apple Store in Regents Street, London, was robbed this morning. Police are appealing for an iWitness!
Having kids is a little like when the free sample lady tries to tell you all about the cheese & you pretend to be interested while you eat.
What do Indian flowers grow? Patels (this may or may not have been inspired by a dumb facebook post I saw)