I'm not self medicating myself with booze. The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well he called it a receipt...whatever.
Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.
I finally lost my virginity Congrats, bro, sit down and tell me about it. Can't sit yet.
TIL, over 23% of jokes on /r/jokes are just ripoffs of previous ones Whooooops... Wrong sub( )
*boss stops meeting* Mike, is there something you'ld like to share with the whole group? Me: Nooooo, that's why I whispered it to Alan.