How do you count cows? with a cowculator.
People ask me why I don't have any tattoos. I tell em "" would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?
If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache.
Your volume level is at a flamboyantly gay band geek and I need you to turn it down to a shy Asian transfer student.
Up to 300 serial killers are active every day but the good news is that some of us have been incapacitated by the internet.