What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? One gets a badge for lighting stuff on fire, while the other gets a badge for being lit on fire.
I'm sorry I said ""sorry about your eyebrows"" when you showed me your wedding photos
I'm extremely terrified that Donald Trump might run this country..... I completely mean that.
Eyecare Clerk: And for $79 we can coat your lenses with anti-glare. Me: Is that intended to benefit me or the people I glare at?
With Murray testing free agency maybe the cowboys should pick up both Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson on the cheap! They would be a good one two punch!