Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham.
How much do pirates pay for corn? A buck an ear!
Awkward=when autocorrect changes 'sooner' to 'sober' so email to 8 yr. old's teacher reads ""I apologize for not getting back to you sober""
""This is the one I use for wiping"" - Handshakes
What is the difference between your wife and your job? After ten years your job still sucks