I'm not exactly Jew. I'm just Jewish.
Kissed a receipt to lighten my lipstick but I need it to return something & now some cashier is gonna think I'm flirting.
My boss asked me to send him the funniest joke i've got.... ...I sent him a picture of my paycheck
BMW tried to make an amphibious vehicle... Mercedes and BMW started selling amphibious vehicles. Soon, however, BMW was forced to stop selling them, as their customer's kept getting the Benz.
What do you get for opening the BEST Vietnamese soup joint in London? A great big pho queue.