ME: Don't you see, the treasure is our friendship PIRATE: ...Aye ME: P: I cherish ya me matey but honestly ya misled me a tad didn't ya
I'm allergic to Everclear. It makes me break out.. Into handcuffs.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
An argument with my wife is like the gas pedal on a Prius. I can put my foot down, but I don't really expect much to happen...
What is the difference between an onion and a hooker? I always cry when I cut an onion