Justin Timberlake postponing his Buffalo show Sat. & then going on Fallon is like that time I called in sick & tweeted a selfie on a boat.
I was asleep in a forest... ...Then suddenly woke up and saw a grizzly bent over my face. Bear ass.
In order to catch a cab, one must think like a cab first.
How do you know if you have a tough mosquito ? You slap him and he slaps you back !
How is being a Jew like eating a burrito? It's really not a problem until they give you gas.