My father just texted that he's been kicked off the roof of a Cleveland casino for grilling hotdogs, if you ever wondered why I am this way.
What happened to the Jew who ran into the wall with a boner....? ....He broke his nose
For every person pleased at meeting their TC in real life. Another 762 are climbing out of bathroom windows and smashing their phone.
What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party? There's no punch line.
Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die? Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground (Taken from Cyanide and Happiness comics)
