[catching breath at friends house] I was being chased by a bike cop so I threw up a left turn signal but actually turned right and it worked
Why can't a T-rex clap? Because there extinct.
A 22 year old girl said to me ""there's NO WAY you are 41"" I put her in my pocket and took her home. She's mine now.
How did the firefly react when he was stepped on? He was delighted.
What's black and steals your change? Vending machines.
