What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards? In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.
It's actually pretty convenient the Alan Rickman died so soon after David Bowie. You can just move your lightning bolt up a few inches for the funeral and fit right in.
Why did the mom cry as her baby Richard became older? Her little Dick was growing.
A man walks into a gym and asks the personal trainer which machine will make him most attractive to women.. The instructor points to the back of the gym "" The ATM machine""
I just ate my weight in kidney beans! (I weigh eight ounces.)