Why did the child have two black eyes? Because telling them once wasn't enough.
A wise man once told me that you should love with your heart and use your head for everything else He died of a concussion
What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger
Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw
I wonder if Jeremy Irons ever quietly laughs to himself while he's ironing.