The creepiest thing you can do is drive next to someone on the highway at the exact same speed.
There's nothing a floored gas pedal and cranked music can't cure.
My actual wife and my twitter wife are talking via Kik. I will be camping in the woods forever if you need me.
My phone reception is so clear, I can hear my wife's eyes rolling as I talk.
What's the difference between a man's balls and Jehovah's Witnesses? There's none. They both knock on the door, but never goes in!