Why are all italian men named Tony Because when God made them he stamped TO NY on their foreheads
How many girlfriends have you had before me? She asked casually, as she sat on the edge of my bed pretending to be interested in my Warhammer catalogue. Fucking stupid question.
Donald Trump chose Mikey Pence as his vice-president... Did anyone else realize that Mickey and Donald will run America from now on? Walt Disney also could not have imagined this...
Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it
A small bird flew right onto the side of my butt while I was running today I was wrong, there are chicks out there that find me to be their type.
