Instead of yelling at jerk who cuts u off in traffic just chuck a realistic rubber snake in their window & yell ""have at him Damian!""
I took a really sloppy poo today... My ass was wiped more times than Ian Watkins' search history
[on deathbed] ""Tell my Wif... *cough*"" Yes? Tell her what? ""Tell my Wifi provider their broadband speeds were moderate at best"" [dies]
What did the wise man say to the science class? Many photons make light work.
So, my mate Vincent cut his ear off and his wife asked him why? He just told her "" I guess I just had to 'let it Gogh'. EDIT: removed the u from gogh
