What's a 69er got in common with the mafia ? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice... ... at night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
Why do you look out the window in the morning? Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway.
Tomorrow I'll go to the orphanage... ... and beat up some children. I mean, what would they do? Tell their parents?
[Eating] Waiter: How's the meal? Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...
