I opened my water and electric bills simultaneously... Needless to say, I was shocked.
*job interview* ""So this yearbook isn't your resume?"" ""No. I'm not a moron. Those are my references. I highlighted all the NEVER CHANGE's.""
I have a weird quirk when watching Star Wars I wait for when someone is going to yell, ""R2!"" and yell out ""Am not!""
Why are men better cooks? They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months
How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.