Cynthia had always been the girl everyone look at with admiration. She aces all of her examinations, was the president of the class, the leader of the press club, and her smile is always effortlessly beautiful. For three years, her life has been the definition of perfection, largely because of Emmanuel. They were the best school couple everyone talked about. The perfect pair that looked as though they were ordained from heaven.
But the perfection she thought she had turned out to be completely flawed..
Their breakup was so sudden , like a storm on a sunny day. One moment they were planning their holiday dates, and the next, Emmanuel was standing in front of her hostel room, avoiding her eyes.
“I just think… we’ve been distant,” he had said with his voice low.
Cynthia stared at him, her mind trying to put pieces together. “Distant? What does that even mean? We were fine yesterday.”
“I don’t know,” he replied, his hands buried deep in his pockets. “I just don’t feel the same anymore.”
And just like that, her whole world shifted.
Cynthia thought she could bear the pain, bury it beneath the stacks of textbooks and assignments and work overtime. At first, she tried to convince herself it didn’t matter. Breakups were part of life, weren’t they? She’d seen friends cry over relationships and bounce back. Why should there be any difference with her?
But as the days turned into weeks, she realized it was more than just heartbreak to her. It was a total wreck.
She stopped going to the library during weekdays because almost everything there reminded her of the times they’d spent there together, him making sketches of heart in her notebooks while she pretended to study. She skipped press club meetings because she couldn’t bear the idea of standing confidently to address the members as their president when she felt so broken inside. Even her grades that used to be her pride, began to lapse.
Her friends, Joy and Faith noticed. They tried to sweet-talk her out of her shell, but Cynthia pulled away. She was tired of hearing, “You’re better off without him” or “You’ll find someone else.”
One evening, as she sat in her hostel staring at the blank screen of her laptop, her roommate, Jade, entered.
“You can’t continue like this,” Jade said, tossing her bag on the bed.
“Continue what?” Cynthia muttered, looking down.
“Pretending you’re okay when you’re absolutely not. You’ve barely eaten today. You skipped your physiology test. What’s going on?”
Cynthia bit her lip, a lump forming in her throat. “I don’t understand who I am anymore.”
Jade relaxed, sitting beside her. “How do you mean?”
“I was never just me, I was always me and Emmanuel . He was my person. My love. My balance. And now he’s gone, and I feel… empty. It’s just as if nothing I do matters because I’m not complete on my own.”
Jade was silent for a moment before speaking. “Cynthia, you’ve always been complete. Emmanuel didn’t make you smart, or intelligent, or kind, or purposeful. That’s who you are. Losing him doesn’t erase any of that.”
But Cynthia couldn’t hear it. Not even now.
One night, as she was unable to sleep, Cynthia opened her journal. Writing had always been her safe space, but she hadn’t touched the notebook since the breakup. She hesitated, then wrote the words that had been haunting her:
“Why wasn’t I enough for him?”
The question stared back at her, mocking her. She closed the journal with a sigh and leaned back, letting her thoughts voice out in her quiet room.
Was it because I wasn’t adventurous enough? Was I too predictable? Too focused on school? Was I too easy? I thought he liked that about me. I thought we had the same goals, the same vision for our future. How could he just… switch on me like that?
She wiped away a tear, but they kept coming, unstoppable. Maybe I loved him too much. Maybe I gave him too much of myself and forgot how to keep something just for me.
Weeks later, during psychology class, the professor assigned an essay on the theme “resilience”. It was as if the professors knew that she needed that. Cynthia almost rolled her eyes. Resilience? She hadn’t felt resilient in months.
But as she began working on the essay, something shifted. She started to see herself in the words she was writing. She realized that she had built so much of her identity around another person, only to be left thorn when it was all over.
The essay became a turning point. Slowly, Cynthia began to rebuild.
One afternoon, Jade dragged her to the campus topshop, insisting they get some fresh air. As they waited for their drinks, Cynthia spotted Emmanuel across the room, laughing with a group of friends. Her stomach was shaken, but she didn’t look away.
Jade noticed. “Do you want to leave?”
Cynthia shook her head. “No. I’m tired of running from him.”
When Emmanuel ’s eyes met hers, he nodded a bit, and for the first time, she felt nothing. No anger, no longing, no attraction. Just the faint memory of what was once there.
On the walk back, Cynthia spoke softly. “I think I’m finally starting to get it.”
“Get what?” Jade asked.
“That he wasn’t my balance. I was. I just didn’t realize it.”
By the end of the semester, Cynthia wasn’t the same person she’d been before the breakup, but that was so okay. She’d learned how to sit with her pain, how to let it shape her without letting it define her. And when she looked in the mirror now, she saw someone stronger, someone whole on her own.
She smiled. Well, It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.
Thank you for reading my story.
