Breaking all ties.
Destroying the lies.
Moving is freedom
Freedom is fresh.
Live on live on
Laying awake beyond the reach of rest
Charmingly arm outstretched
That's quite
the family.
As is the dream
Is not reality
But I did dream that street corner
That became reality.
Maybe He answered a question of mine,
For cried I not where is she?
As a boy he told me futuristic things.
As I did my social studies.
He said you will go here and here and here and here..
He told me of the weight of my sins before they transpired,
He told me that regardless my account, that I am His.
Who knows of what manner I was when I accepted the call.
In it's capacity the call was understood to be a near suicidal however honorable undertaking, as I believe it served Justice. Like a refinement but by trial by fire and for keeps. It was a large commission, a giant under taking. I was the only one or maybe a few, in the midst of fifty or so.
When I responded,
"I'll go."
"Do you know what this means?"
"I will go."
He described to me the weight such that my 'first wife' was a term used clearly in one or two of our conversations. I understood then also that there would be a second wife.
Here I am in my 34th year here.
I am astounded.
I have one again I have one again that I am thinking about outside of my obstinate efforts to the contrary all the time.
Here I am.
Set to fire, set to sea, set to county garbage and beyond,
Gone gone gone.
The Lord reasoned with my reasoning finally today with this,
'Jacob had TWO wives.'
You see, it's been my heart to at least match Jacob in years served for Rachel.
Say you see abandonment only meant that time had just begun for me.
I reasoned Jacob had 140 years total, serving 14 years for Rachel. 1/10th of his life and it seemed but a few days to him for the love he had for her.
I reasoned that I would give mine 7 years assuming I will have at least 70 years. 1/10th of my life...
But alas I reasoned I am no patriarch.
So finally the Lord reasoned to me how that there are 2 wives. And I have but the 1st. Which was and is not and shall not be.. So I am patriarchal in a sense, for I fulfilled in like ratios, 3 and a half years for my first wife.
And now I am spent.
I released it all today. I don't think I could find a picture or memoir of any kind if I tried.
As being alone, I am again completely whole.
just come home, I would say..
Knowing perhaps there is more in freedom than in only half of a covenant.
Let freedom ring.
