I broke my writing streak again. I have tried to sustain and maintain it for over 2 months, but somehow I always feel when I try, "What do I do?" I will largely blame it on my other jobs, but then I used to be able to juggle so many things at the same time without even losing touch.
It just proves how this illness has affected me a whole lot. I feel it in every fiber of my body, my mindset and mentality, and almost everything I do. I tried to compartmentalize my reality to understand that something is wrong and I cannot go at 100% speed, not that I have the strength anyway.
The human body is an interesting creation. So much more is tied to the ability to do things, but somehow we underestimate how the body works when everything looks 100% functional.
Physical recovery most times depends on mental recovery and vice versa. This is to say that there are so many layers of recovery that have to happen for the body and spirit to be completely whole. There are different layers of illnesses and sicknesses these days; you have the sickness of the mind as well, and sometimes this affects the body layer.
Sometimes I see depression as one of the leading causes of high blood pressure. Why do I think this is so? Depression creates an instability in the mind; you don't even need to do anything wrong, like taking too much salt or too much sugar or leading a sedentary lifestyle.
I was reading a blog post by a doctor who is a nutritionist. The man clearly claimed that depression causes body odor, and a lot of people doubted him. People tend to understand depression until they have to actually taste what it feels like.
The doctor went to on to stress that when the mind is stressed, it releases some hormones, and the other aspect of this is that people tend to generally forget the hygienic side of life when it seems they do not have any other thing to fight for, or when they are fighting a battle that seems too much for them to carry.
If it is your first time, you are definitely clueless. There are so many "first times" for events in life; some first times for traumatic experiences can be terrible. I don't know too many people with a lot of traumatic life experiences, because somehow I feel that these people are the ones who are qualified to either teach, advise, or procure solutions. Some time back,
I remember telling someone about what they would experience going through something that had happened to them recently. They thought I was joking and that it wouldn't be as I was thinking, but when it happened, they started texting me for experiences and lessons.
In reality, we can never know more than people who have experienced it all. There is no bigger teacher in life than what you have gone through for yourself, and do not let anyone deceive you. Do not let anyone call your pain a myth; your demons are not in your head, they are real, and that is because you are the one fighting the battle. Oppppssss, another record for a long post in a very long time.
