So 4 days since my last post, well this isn't a creative relapse it's just that I've had more hospital trips, new medications, new test results I have to wait for, and I've not been as stable as I should.
I've been juggling other work commitments, trying non-conventional ways to solve my conventional latest health realities, and it's just been anything short of overwhelming.
Some days ago, a friend accompanied me to a specialist hospital and she was exposed to the reality of the lives of people there, and even though she has some health concerns of her own, she couldn't help but panic at the realities of people in that hospital.
It just proves that there are bigger demons, bigger pain and bigger challenges, and while she developed some short-term anxiety over what she saw, it's unbelievable to realize that I've been having to deal with that anxiety for over 20 years.
Again, I have come to understand something: it's always good to be relevant to people. I understand that you don't always have to be friends with everyone, but we need friends with benefit, and if you cannot prove your benefit to people, even you have to expect their goodwill to be out of the goodness of their heart.
For example, I have a lot of people I wish to repay their kindness, and those I wish to be good to, even though they don't know me. I've watched them from afar, and wish I can show them some kindness someday, unfortunately I can't be good to everyone, not in my situation.
There will always be priorities. The person who followed me to the hospital had family commitments she had to focus on, but she cancelled and decided to come with me, even though I know I have been good to her in the past, I believe that people call themselves friends on the basis of "showing up" and not "I'm busy, work has been so tight, oh I can't even deal with my issues, I can't be available"
In reality we all need help, and while I've been alone all my life to deal with a lot of issues, I can say I've had the help of 3 to 5 people, of which I have wouldn't have been able to do it without them. While we all leave the world alone, people who makes the journey easier are the true gems we have in life, and it's our responsibility to also be good to them.
