Happy New month to you all my lovelies...one love 💕 keep us together. Let love leads on.
Love is not meant to feel like a negotiation where you keep offering pieces of yourself just to remain chosen.
This is something life keeps revealing in quiet, uncomfortable ways. We see it in relationships that look fine on the surface but are held together by silent compromise.
We notice it in women who start out confident and whole, but slowly begin to shrink, adjusting, bending and overextending until they no longer recognize who they used to be.
It often doesn’t happen all at once. It begins subtly.
A little more effort here.
A little more tolerance there.
A willingness to ignore what doesn’t sit right, just to keep things from falling apart all because the heart wants something real and lasting, but here is what many people learn too late:
If keeping someone requires you to keep abandoning yourself, then what you have is not love but maintenance because anything built on pressure will always demand performance and the moment your peace starts slipping, your values start shaking, or your identity begins to blur, that connection is already asking for more than it deserves.
To the woman doing life on her own, and to the one holding onto faith for a partner.
Your desire is not misplaced, wanting love, support, and companionship is human. It is natural to want someone to share your life with, to build with, to rest with but desperation should never be the foundation.
You are not here to audition for love.You are not here to outdo others just to be noticed.
You are not here to drain yourself emotionally or physically just to secure someone’s presence.
The kind of love that is right will not demand constant proof of your worth and if your faith means anything to you, then you already know this, what is truly aligned with God will never require you to compromise His standards just to obtain it.
Akwa remember that there is a difference between effort and struggle and what is right may require patience, but it will not rob you of your dignity. It will not leave you confused or constantly anxious. It will not feel like you are losing yourself in the process.
So instead of pouring all your energy into being chosen, redirect it.Pour into your own life.
Strengthen your mind.
Work on your healing.
Build something meaningful for yourself.
Surround yourself with spaces that reflect the kind of life you want.
Grow spiritually, not just emotionally.
Let your life stand full, not half-waiting because when you become grounded and complete within yourself, your choices change. You no longer entertain what is draining or unclear. You begin to recognize what is steady, intentional, and genuine.
And let this be clear;
Your past does not cancel or determine your future and raising a child alone does not reduce your value.
Your life is still unfolding, there is still room for joy, for partnership and for something real.
Maybe the answer is not in trying harder, but in moving differently.
Not chasing. Not forcing. Not proving but becoming.
Trusting that when things align the right way, you won’t have to struggle to hold onto it and most importantly, you won’t have to trade pieces of yourself just to experience love.
You're reading from your handsome friend John Petra.
