the world to the circle it illumines and excludes the rest.
― Rainer Maria Rilke
Alone in the Dark
"I suppose if you feed me, you think I'm yours," Carly smirked, as she finished her second cheese croissant.
"Look, I'm not trying to bribe you with food," I explain, "but if I were, it sure as hell wouldn't be takeout. I'd take you to a romantic restaurant with just the right ambiance."
"So, candlelight in the intimacy of your front room has no atmosphere―that's what you're trying to sell me?"
"Damn it, Carly", I shout, "I didn't plan for a nocturnal storm or a blackout. Why don't you trust me?"
"Hmm...let me see. Maybe it's because when I follow you around you're always flirting with women."
I roll my eyes and look skyward for help. I never do that. Never lose my cool.
"Do you always relate to men by pushing them away―why do you do that?"
"Maybe it's because all the men I have ever known have been pushy."
"And what's with all these maybe's? Do you live in The Land of Perhaps?"
"Yeah, so what if I do―have you had to push away 200 pound men who are interested in only one thing―and it's not you?"
I shake my head sadly. "Can't say I have that problem...thankfully."
There's a huge thunderclap and the house shakes. I reach behind the couch and part the window drape. Outside, rain circles pulsate in puddles and trees bristle, electrified with raindrops and wind.
"It's not a night fit for man or beast," I mutter, "but here we are...together and we're fighting."
"I'm not fighting," she says, bristling like the pines outside.
"Then why are you giving me such a hard time?" I ask pointedly.
She shrugs, "A hard time, but a good time," she smiles shyly.
And then I understand―she's just like me―frightened, afraid of making a mistake.
"It is good being here with you,"I sigh, "I feel relaxed and at peace."
"Even with your back pushed up against the wall?" she teases.
"If that's the price I pay for being here with you―it's worth it."
"Oh, you're good,' she giggles, "you don't need to twist my arm, just use your words to seduce me."
"Is it working?"
"I'm on duty. We'll have to wait until this assignment is over to answer that question."
I'm willing to wait, I muse, as long as it takes us.
Just then, her cell buzzes.
"I have to take this," she says.
I nod and grab the empty coffee cups and cardboard boxes and head into the kitchen.
When I come back she's putting on her coat.
"Something wrong?" I ask.
"Yeah, it was Tom. They've got a lead on that jeep and your sniper. We're going to grab him before he disappears."
"That sounds promising."
"It all depends if he even knows who hired him. He could have been recruited on the dark web and paid in crypto. He may not know the identity of whoever hired him. I doubt he's a lone actor."
She heads to the door and then pauses. "This was nice," she whispers, "I appreciate that you thought about me."
"All the time," I tell her and then add sombrely, "watch yourself out there."
"All the time," she smiles, "you know me―always wary."
She's right, I do know and I've let down my guard when it comes to her. I'm no longer on alert.
But that's a good thing...I hope.