The Doctor did say I will never get better. It is something I shall live with as it get worse by the day. There is no operation for what I have. I do things to ease the pain, I have my heating pad on. I have taken my meds. Going to the kitchen to get some coffee to take the meds felt like torture. What I have will not end my life, nothing like that. It will just get more and more painful as the days go on. A living torture. There are days I do not type like this on the internet. This is because I try not to share things that would bring others down. I have some awesome friends, and I know they are here for me. They bring a lot of love to my life, and I do not think they know just how much that is when I smile when my day sitting here is bad.
I have only 2 types of days, bad, and real bad. Eventually I shall graduate from bad and real bad to real bad and worse then real bad. This is something that happened before my 4th birthday and I have been living with it since that time. I just did not realize it when I was younger, but there were signs. On the good side, I did work quite a bit back in the day. I raised a daughter and tried to raise an adopted daughter. I Disc Jockeyed, running my own business. I did make it through the USAF and served my country. I have helped the elderly. I have helped the special needs people (in 2 different counties). I have traveled, and did have the signs of where I am today. I have done a lot in a short period of time, and for that I am thankful.
17 years ago my swing in softball went out. Also at that time I found out that sit-ups were no longer a good thing for exercise. I gained weight because of this and added a case of sleep apnea to my daily life. My sleep and the pain started making life very difficult. Since you cannot see the pain or the apnea, I was told I was just being lazy. So there I was taking Ibuprofens and drinking coffee by the gallons, and not getting any better. It was getting worse. The doctor I went to, was like "oh, you just pulled some muscles". Rest and Ibuprofen will make it all better. In a way I am told this still to this day. My doctor does not say that, but Social Security has sad it to me recently. I am currently fighting them. There is so much more to say, and I will leave that for another day.
Peace joy love and blessing to all that have read this.
