In a world of lies, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

01:06 AM
Bad Parent Oatmeal

Let me tell you a story of how I was a bad parent so to speak in my life, this is one of many examples of bad I've done whether intentional, accidental, knowingly, subliminally, unaware, subconsciously, or otherwise
Once upon a time, I was a bad parent via being a bad counselor at camps, worked several locations with Word Of Life Fellowship and The Salvation Army a few times between 2004-2010, we'll focus on those particular years for now
Before I tell you how I was bad counselor, let me tell you two things
First, I'm not absolutely saying I was the worst counselor, teacher, helper, parent, staff, or whatever
Not trying to say I was always very bad as a counselor, I did some good at times, I was trying to do good, some people said I was good, I've focused on those aspects at times in my life
I'm not saying I was the best even as I may have allegedly praised myself at times, you might say I was too prideful, not gonna totally argue because perhaps I've bragged, but not to say I'm always trying to say I'm the best, perfect, without flaws, even as a clean-freak perfectionist workaholic neat-organizer running around working too hard spreading myself too thing many times for decades
Second, let me quickly outline the good I was trying to do as a counselor even as I did some bad in the mist of those intentions and what not, let me tell you my perspective, where I was coming from, my intentions, goals, purposes, priorities, thinking, feelings, concerns, paradigms, let me try to summarize some of the Inside-Out internal drama
Quick backstory, I turned eight years old in 1993, started wanting to travel the world as a missionary or as the next Michael Jackson, started thinking about influencing culture, growing up, many things can be traced back to that particular year
I was involved in Word of Life & AWANA clubs in the 1990s, was an actor in a play, took karate, played sports, was involved at the homeschooling club, other clubs, churches, youth groups, random ghetto friends, was drawing, writing, building, making up songs, we started making videos in 1996
I started attending high school in 2000, I continued being involved in clubs and many different things at school, churches, and whatever else as I was in my teens as I was approaching college, so many things contributed to the kind of man I was becoming
But one of the issues was having this idea, right or wrong, of my alcoholic father in the background which sometimes my dad was verbally abusive especially to my mom, so I was thinking I didn't want to become my dad
Without spending hours trying to unpack all of this, let's sake for the sake of argument that there is some truth in what I'm trying to say which to be honest and frank, there might allegedly be bits and pieces of truth in what I try to say, perhaps I had some Star Wars Luke Skywalker Darth Vader fear of diving into the dark side which I would sometimes dive into, all of this is nuance, subtle, perhaps true to various degrees and what not
On top of that was this idea of like trying to become friends with the campers as opposed to being like some kind of authority figure like a parent, teacher, counselor, principal, boss, or what not; and not to say one should never try to be friendly or what not to children as there can be benefits sometimes from such endeavors, relationships, friendships, so perhaps I was not absolutely off-based
Whether wrong or wrong, effective or counterproductive, I was sometimes trying to be friends with campers as opposed to being too much of a demon, like an authoritarian, I was trying to be the opposite of what I saw my dad did, not to say there isn't a time and a place for different approaches, styles, in how you deal with people, management, and everything; not trying to say I was always right or wrong, I was sometimes a mixed bag of pros and cons running around like a Cool Kid Billy Breaker
I was also like sometimes too busy with other things to always focus on counseling, or sometimes I was trying too hard, was being too aggressive, or was too patient, too maybe even passive aggressive, maybe too friendly, maybe joked too much, and perhaps the list goes on and on, perhaps we don't have time to break all that down right now
In my life, I tried doing good but it would reap a bad harvest sometimes, this story about counseling is only one of many things I can talk about relating to how I was trying to help people through a variety of means but perhaps I failed to a large degree, not saying I was always totally failing at times, I'm trying to say I'm aware of some of the failures or what not
As a counselor, I may have tried various degrees of different approaches including the idea of trying to gradually influence them like as if I was an entertainer which included me singing a song, go to sleep little boy, I tried comedy, I even said something like go to sleep or else I'm going to get in there, as in his bed, which I was trying to use the shock value to get him to do the right things which many times campers didn't want to go bed when it was lights out and I didn't want to yell or raise my voice or whatever else
Saying that got me fired in New York in 2005 that summer, you might say I had blind spots, never mind my intentions, and not to say people shouldn't raise their voices, sometimes you gotta, and sometimes perhaps you shouldn't; and I was sometimes all over the place or I wanted to kind of act like I was a kid to better influence them as opposed to being that ugly adult
Not saying I was never trying to be serious as a counselor because I tried that too; but there were times I would try to be goofy which probably didn't translate well; it was difficult as I felt like I still was a kid as I was only 20 when I started counseling
Perhaps some people liked me, some alleged said they liked me, whether they were campers, other counselors, staff, or what have you; so, not saying I totally bombed it all of the time; but I did make mistakes or what not despite my intentions
My weaknesses my include my attitude of maybe being better than other people which I'm also humble which is ironic if I'm also cocky, so we're not gonna unpack all of my alleged character flaws in order to try to understand the choices I made in life, especially as a counselor, like in order to analyze alleged good I did or tried to do, like my perspective, intentions, some of it came from the idea of trying to gradually influence children by giving them safe spaces meaning maybe I was partly a leftist democrat when I was younger in some ways which not say there isn't any truth to any of that at all cuz there might be some at times
I was a bad parent as a counselor when I failed to switch back and forth between play mode and serious mode which people do and I think I can somewhat switch back and forth now as I get older, now that I'm 39, not to say switching is always good; and maybe I was against the idea of switching; not saying switching always works; but I feel like that this contributed to my failures in life; not saying I never ever switched; I'm saying perhaps less often and not as well the younger I was; I was concerned with trying not to appear to mean looking resulting in me becoming too girly at times or too demonic other times like an autistic bipolar Energizer Easter Bunny
Not saying I was always stuck in play mode as a counselor, I sometimes went back and forth; but not being good at switching might be more bad than good sometimes; so this could be added to the list of bad things I did as a counselor or life in general; we'll stop here for now as this is just a minute long outline listing a few reasons why and how I did bad at parenting, counseling

03:21 AM
1996-08-09 - Jack Spoiler Review, Robin Williams, Jennifer Lopez, Bill Cosby

12:07 PM
Oatmeal in a Black-Hole, Version 1, Suno & Noisee AI

12:14 PM
Living For Love, Oatmeal Mantra, Version 2, Nintendo World, Super Heroes, Suno & Noisee AI

12:20 PM
Late Night at Kells 2008, Oatmeal Works, Version 1, Spaceship Battles, Battle Star Wars Trek Gate, Suno & Noisee AI

06:53 PM
Never Gonna Stop Chrissie Mayr, Version 2, File-Cabinet Ocean Surfing, Suno & Noisee AI

07:44 PM
Take Over My Discord Server, Version 1, Gorilla Internet, Guinea Pigs, Super Heroes, Suno & Noisee AI

09:13 PM
Engagement Farming Forbidden, Elon Musk Twitter X Rap, Version 1, Suno AI

11:55 PM
Engagement Farming Forbidden, Elon Musk Twitter X Rap, Version 1, Mars, Cows, Cars, Cyborgs, Suno & Noisee AI