It was a fitful night of struggling to fall asleep.
A tummy ache tortured me into the evening and accompanied me in watching the sun rise. Was it something I ate? Or was it the stressful conversations I had reacquainting myself with people I hadn’t spoken with in years.
Invisible lines were crossed. I remembered why I had socially distanced myself from them before the pandemic. I guess I was hopeful but found the conversation poisoning. It was painfully upsetting that I took two activated charcoal capsules.
It was a restless evening. A part of me should have suspected a nightmare was waiting for me once I fell asleep. Even with a high dose of allergy medicine and a dab of lavender oil on my wrists to relax me, hours passed.
Did I drink coffee today? I couldn’t recall. The dark sky outside started to become lighter. I was annoyed but finally fell asleep in an abrupt way that I felt immediately plugged into a machine once I dozed off.
I became present to anger.
It was an odd emotion and it quickly modulated into an even more foreign emotion; hate. I remember thinking, “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” I can’t remember who or what I hated so much in my dream but an evil weight jumped on my bed. I felt like I was being physically throttled by a menacing energy that was delighted to feast on the hatred. I summoned all the words I knew to scare it away and surround me with protection and it disappeared quickly. Exhausted, I finally fell asleep.
The ghost of the nightmare sat with me throughout the day and my tummy ache revisited. Was it something I ate? I decided to avoid leftovers and prepared something new for dinner.
It’s now nearly 4am. I still have a tummy ache and I’m planning to enjoy a nightmare free rest. I’m finally sleepy. Tired, I have no negative feelings to feed the dream monster. I should be good.
JNET
Past posts on dreams:
i dreamt that I forgot to go home
