"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" I asked with a broad smile, pointing to a seat beside Shade. Of course, I knew the seat was empty as the lecture hall was barely full of students. The seat I pointed to was one of the many free ones in the hall. I'm sure she got the message of my intention to sit beside her.
"Sure, make yourself comfortable." Share replied to me with a smile.
"Thank you very much." I said, sitting right beside Shade. I felt a bit awkward, searching my mind for the best conversation to come up with. "So, how has freshman year been?"
"Not bad, a new phase, but I'm adapting. What about you?"
"It's been cool so far, except having to cope with making it to school early for the morning lectures."
"Just say you're not used to waking up early." Shade teased, making both of us burst into laughter. "Anyways, you're fun to talk to. I'm Shade by name." She said.
"Am I not lucky to be in the good books of the beautiful Miss Shade?" I teased in response, causing her to blush. "I'm Charles." Gradually, the lecture hall began to fill up with other students as the time for the lecture clicked, and the lecturer would soon walk in. Shade and I continued our conversations in a low tone, enjoying every bit of it. The one-hour lecture soon ended, and Shade and I packed our books and left the hall. We hung out later that evening at the walkway, and I got to know more about Shade's background, dreams, and aspirations.
My friendship with Shade soon became such that we grew fond of each other and kept each other's backs. I began to see life like a juvenile because of Shade; she was my 5 and 6. Our friendship rocked till the end of freshman year, and at the age of 23, I felt it was the right time to start a relationship with nobody else but Shade, and thus, I took the bold step to ask her out over a dinner at our favorite spot on campus.
"Charles Charles, are you sure you want to go down this lane with me?" Shade asked me, a smirk drawn over her face.
"Why not Shade? We've known each other for a while. Or don't you feel the same way as I do?"
"I won't deny that I have strong feelings for you, but..."
"But what, Shade?" I was beginning to get anxious and agitated.
"Charles, my guy, let me take you down memory lane." Shade said.
Upon hearing this, a cold shiver coursed through my spine, fearing for the worst. "Okay, Shade, I'm listening."
"I am surprised you don't remember me. Well, I'm sure you remember Bolanle, the girl you mocked in your elementary school days as a result of her facial appearance. You and your friends frustrated the poor girl out of school until she ended up with low self-esteem and never returned to your school. You made life miserable for Bolanle, and you all continued with your lives while you changed the course of Bolanle's life!" Shade said, her expression gradually transcending into that of anger and bitterness. This was the first time I saw Shade angry; her eyes were like sparkles of fire, ready to engulf me.
Many thoughts ran wild through my mind. Of course, I remember Bolanle, the ugly spectacle we readily made fun of while in elementary school. She had stopped coming to school, and nobody cared to ask why. Even during our reunion several years later, her memory was only a smoke that nobody found worthy of remembering. "Shade, are you by any chance Bolanle?" I asked sheepishly. I was confused. Either way, my past had come hunting, oblivious to the gravity of the hurts inflicted on Bolanle. An unusual heat overwhelmed me; my sweats were as thick as oil, my head was heavy, my legs were weak, and my life felt trapped in time.
"Let me save you the troubles, Charles. Bolanle is my twin, and I've never stopped keeping track of you, the masterpiece of her pains!" Shade said, hitting her finger gently on the table. Thankfully, dusk hastily encroached into the atmosphere, hiding the fear and gloom that had overtaken me.
As much as I desired to right my wrongs, even with a sincere apology, words failed to come out of my mouth. Before I could say Jack, Shade stood up and walked out on me, leaving me devastated, hurt, and scared.
I ended the session with a troubled mind, seeking an audience with Shade to no avail. She wouldn't grant me an audience, and this scared me even more. This was the moment I realized a lack of peace of mind could cause me to lose weight. I became a shadow of myself. I cared less for the relationship with Shade and sought forgiveness from Bolanle.
I reached out to some of my friends who were culpable for the acts of hurt inflicted on Bolanle many years ago. Few of them discarded my fears, while others agreed to reach out to her for forgiveness.
By the resumption of the second session, I looked forward to seeing Shade, but she was nowhere to be found. I walked up to my department head after two weeks of resumption, only to discover Shade was never a registered student of the department.
"There's no record of Shade Badmus in our department. We have some ghost students; maybe she was one." The department head said this to me, dismissing me from his office.
I informed my friends, and we agreed to make a public apology on social media, which we did via a letter signed by the few repentant ones and posted on Facebook. We got several comments, both from known and unknown people. Many criticized us, while others praised us for our courage. I hoped someday Shade or even Bolanle would read our apology and forgive us.