I think it’s wise to remember how unreceptive people are to change. There are hardly many of us that deal well with a shift in our lives. Because when something in our lives is altered, we’ve got to fine-tune our minds, our schedules and whatnot, all over again. And it’s safe to remember this because if this is the way we would react to change in our lives, how much more with others.
Away from minimalism, most people aren’t receptive to a shift in the behavioural pattern or choices of their friends. So, it’s like, if you were the jolly, enthusiastic, high spirited six year old, your friends and family wouldn’t take it well when for some reason you’re now mostly sully, moody or irritable. And so, you will keep hearing things like, “You’ve changed,” or “You’re different now. What’s wrong with you?” And that’s the thing. Once you divert even a little bit from what they’ve known you to be in their heads, you’ve automatically changed. And not in a good way.
So, I don’t usually expect my friends to be all jolly when I change. I don’t even know when I change, nor am I even sure if I’ve truly changed or not. I heard this quote that says, “People don’t change. It’s just a part of them that you didn’t know existed.” I’ve always wondered at the validity of this quote, and somehow I get the full truth to it. Maybe it was a part to them that they never showed, but has always been there. And so, they didn’t exactly change, that’s just who they’ve always been.
When it comes to my personal relationships as it relates to minimalism, I think I’ve gotten used to being called all sorts of names. Like a snob, or prideful, or arrogant, and every other thing. And somehow, I understand how someone that loved a very social life with lots of friends and many relationships, has now reclined to almost a solitary life with barely a handful of people in her life. And so, it immediately comes off as being a snob. I ran into one of my old classmates in secondary school the other day and first thing she said was, “Tessa that has made so much money, so the rest of us are now peasants to her. She can't even reach out.”
I was super confused and with my smile still fixed firmly on her face, I just have her a side hug and went on my way, quite unsure of how to respond. I’d said before that minimalism involves the conscious effort to refine your life. You’ve got to be determined every day to simplify your life and declutter mentally and socially, so you can live life the most optimally. But they wouldn’t understand, because the first instinct of a person may not be to ask you what is making you act a particular way but to draw conclusions within themselves.
Away from simplifying my relationships with people and curtailing just who I let into my life, there’s this thing that I’ll miss out on life with living simply. If you can have everything, why not just get it, they’d ask me. And I would always ask back if those who have everything no longer have problems. There’s this craze now among everyone and pressure to have it all at once and have it all now. If you’re not living this certain way or thinking this certain way, you’re immediately dismissed as weird, ignorant or worse.
I can’t begin to mention just how many arguments I’ve gotten into with people I know because of this. So now, I no longer argue, and it has caused a rift that reduced my already small circle even smaller. But I know I can’t change everyone. I don’t even attempt to. But I usually hope they understand sooner or later, that what defines you is your heart and your mindset. Nothing else. I’m wondering though, just how many more of my relationships would suffer and would I be deemed terrible if I stop caring?
Images are mine.
