Even before renowned figures and books talked about doing things only if you’d want them done to you, there’s this instinctive pull that immediately makes us feel like we should give a comeback when something we suspected or even warned about ends up happening.
I remember growing up, and it was the go-to phrase of myself and every kid. My sister going to do something and I tell her that she would receive the wrath of my parents if she did, or telling her that the noodles she was about to cook would turn out bad or soggy. Then when any of those things happen, I give her the traditional “I told you so,” phrase complete with cackles of glee, or even worse, running to inform the parents of said misdeed.
Becoming older has taught me to be more careful about these things. For one, I never say it to friends. There is something such as “speaking with your eyes or with mannerisms.” I think that while many of us may deny that we do not say these things anymore, it is safe to say that a lot of times, the looks we gives may imply this very statement.
Again, I know this because I have done it before, and have also read in books where you will see statements like “I came back home and cried like a baby. Denise, my sister, did not have to say ‘I told you so’ for her eyes to say exactly so. And somehow I knew I felt worse than if she had just said it.”
A lot of times what ends up happening when we say these things with our eyes and gestures is that we still end up saying it in the long run. And then, it gets clear to all concerned that you had always meant to say it.
I would hate if I made a mistake, already exhausted with my heart and conscience judging me, and then someone. More often than not, someone I really care about, comes to tell me “I told you so.” I will feel bad and since I hate how I feel the fee times it has been told to me, I ensure not to actively say it to someone else.
But can I just say that sometimes it’s necessary? The rationale behind this statement is that said person must have issued a warning prior to when that havoc happened, right? So, that only means that you chose to do the contrary and should therefore be responsible for the outcomes. I say so because till this day, I will make this statement to my siblings. But it all depends on the situation because even with siblings, it could still be insensitive depending on the circumstance.
All to say that even as this is subjective and delicate, we should resist the urge to say things like these or show it in our gestures, especially when we can clearly see that the person is contrite and genuinely broken by the situation. But in the event that the person is not, I will delightfully recommend a shrug of the shoulders. That should do the trick.
Image is mine.
