I had a yearning. A deep yearning. Let me out of here, I constantly thought to myself. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be around you people. I want to be on the outside looking in. And then, the day came. The day where I would have my most innate wish granted. I seized it with everything I had. Revelling in my new found freedom and sure within myself that there was no possibility of going back. Things would be good. Things would always be good. Because now, I was free.
And then, barely a few months after, the yearning came back. Surely, this has to be a mistake, I thought. There would be no reason to yearn anymore cause the freedom and all had been gotten, right? So, why was this yearning feeling over me? And what was I yearning for? And then it struck me. That the same people I had been so eager to be away from, I was yearning to be back with them. Being in their space and having them badger me on why I was always in my space.
It’s a wonderful feeling when you come to the realization of how valuable the people you have in your life are. It’s a situation where you don’t realize what you have until it’s lost, but you realize how much these people mean to you in a time of absence. Because of school, I’m usually away from my family for most of the year. In the beginning, I enjoyed it. Basking in the euphoria of my freedom and the joys of not being told what to do, but then we interact with each other and I’m like, Can I please come back home?
I get back home and everyone welcomes me in nearly “triumphant entry,” style and they get to ooooh and ahhhh at how much I’ve grown and how pretty I look. Undoubtedly, all of the attention ends about three days later and then you almost get reminded on why you left in the first place, lol. But I guess it’s was happens withe very family. I think I’m beginning to thrive on this cycle of ours. Running away, staying a while, yearning, coming back, relishing in the attention, getting reminded, running away again. Rinse and repeat.
We can only keep in touch through calls, because the distance of commuting back home is a lot. And we do not talk for long. I think it’s a family thing. We only recently created a family group that isn’t even so active because we’re not the texting type. And when it comes to calls, it’s a whole check up thing, talking about whatever new development has happened in the family, and then we pray together or something, then say our goodbyes.
It’s the same with friends and loved ones. We don’t always text, but we talk and it’s amazing because we’re reminded of how and why we would always be there for each other. Currently, I’m in school, but I honestly cannot wait to be back home, and enjoy those few days of princess-like treatment. That feeling of belonging somewhere and being a part of something is unmatched.
Speaking of belonging somewhere, today is power up day and as always, we show our support and commitment to the growth by powering up on the first day of the month. So, I’ll be powering up 20 Hive. Happy New Month, everyone. Let April be filled with joy for us all.
Images are mine.
