I think the whole idea of being stern or severe is subjective. Because what is being stern or severe? Is it when you鈥檙e tired of BS and you want to start standing up for yourself? Is it when you finally pick yourself and choose to prioritize yourself, your feelings and emotions? Is it when you finally decide to love yourself and no longer tolerate disrespect? What exactly is being stern or severe?
Over the years I鈥檝e learnt to see things for what they are. See people most especially for who they are. I鈥檓 not a good person. I make mistakes and sometimes, even though it鈥檚 not borne out of maliciousness or spite or even deviousness, I find myself taking advantage of people and situations. No, I鈥檓 not a terrible person but I won鈥檛 excuse myself by saying that it鈥檚 part of human nature. It just happens sometimes and when I can, I try to rectify it.
We need to learn to properly distinguish what these things are. On whether you鈥檙e choosing yourself because you鈥檙e genuinely on the wrong side and you鈥檙e hurt and you want to start becoming stern so you鈥檙e no longer disrespected or you鈥檙e just being mean and trying to hurt someone else.
Because then you鈥檙e not being stern but a bad person. It鈥檚 okay to fight for what you think is okay for your peace of mind. It鈥檚 okay to finally remember your worth and the fact that you鈥檙e loved at home. What is not okay, is taking advantage of that to be a malicious person.
So, when is it okay to be stern and severe. It鈥檚 okay to be stern and severe from the beginning. Because if we鈥檙e judging from what being stern and severe means, I think it鈥檚 setting your boundaries right from the start. Letting the people around you, the people you鈥檙e entering into relationships with, your colleagues and business partners what your rules and deal breakers are.
Because imagine a scenario where you got a job as a female store manager and then your male co-worker gives you a kiss on the cheek on your first day of work, or relegates to addressing you with endearments instead of professionally. Soon enough, he starts barking out orders at you that are not in your job description, or proceeding to spank you on the bum while you鈥檙e heading to give your pitch at the board meeting.
Things like that would only come as a result of not knowing your worth or boundaries and neglecting to state them clearly from start. No, you will not be a bad person for stating them in the beginning. Yeah, they might hiss at you or say you鈥檙e doing too much or being prideful, but there will also be the grudging admiration and respect and of course, they would never cross the line and advise people who plan to do it not to.
All of these is what I think being stern or severe is, if I鈥檓 using the word right. Knowing who you are and standing for it in a way that is courteous, polite, firm and devoid of compromise. The start of compromise is the start of disrespect. When you give an inch, it鈥檚 only normal for people to see how many more inches they can push you to give and whether or not they can stretch it to a mile.
Your own severity or sternness should revolve around things that are devoid of unkindness or lack of courtesy. No, pushing that person rudely because you want to pass doesn鈥檛 make you a no-nonsense person but an impolite, unruly person that will definitely get what鈥檚 coming. Let鈥檚 all try to embrace firmness, self-love, self-worth, kindness and wisdom (which will always be profitable to direct). Wrote this as an inspiration from #januaryinleo. What are your thoughts on being stern?
Jhymi馃枻
Images are mine.