The truth is, I have a genuine passion for dancing. Anytime music is playing, don't I feel an irresistible urge to move my body like Rihanna? Or am I the only one who envisions myself dancing like a reincarnated Michael Jackson?
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But such disappointment awaits me whenever I try it in real life. This body of mine that looks so graceful in my mind becomes like a clueless person with two left feet and hands once I start actual dancing! Oh, what a real pity for me!
Okay, here is how it all bagan, when I was younger music was already in my blood. Anytime music played, I would just wind my waist like a boa constrictor.
As I grew up bit by bit, my craze for dance increased. Anytime a video played on TV showcasing dancers' talents, I would just stare in awe like a mermaid's child. I deeply admired the way they swayed their bodies, the intricate legwork and the sweet choreography.
In my mind, I imagined being just like that! I would close my eyes and envision myself doing all sorts of spins and kicks in the air with a dexterity that would make Usher jealous. It thrilled me to see myself popping, locking and moving with so much swag.
But when it was time to display my skills in real life, trouble struck! My body would just disobey and disgrace me. Instead of swaying gracefully like a swan on a lake, I'd be wriggling awkwardly on the ground like a boa constrictor! My legs behaved like those of a puppy learning to walk.
As for popping and locking? I could only lock and pop vitamin C tablets! All that swag I had rehearsed in my mind would vanish like a fart in a tornado.
My friends would look at me with pitying eyes, while some outright laughed at me as a lady who can't dance! It pained me deeply...but what could I do?
Dancing is a passion I possess. It's not easy to just abandon it like that. Even though my mind and body disagree on this matter, I still try to find a way to resolve the conflict between them.
Sometimes, I lock myself in my room to rehearse over and over. I play a song I like on repeat. In front of the mirror, I wine and shake my body like a mahogany tree swaying in the breeze. I kick and spin with reckless abandon until sweat drenches my clothes.
You know what I see? In the mirror, it's a dancer who knows her onions! But such disappointment awaits anytime I try it in public. The real me is still there in the mirror but in reality, it's like a clumsy, uncoordinated spirit possesses me!
This is an issue that almost wants to kill me! I love, love, LOVE dancing with all my heart and soul but it seems my body is just out to embarrass me when it comes to real life situations.
So I try to gather courage each time, at least to dance anyhow since bad dancing is better than not dancing at all.
Who knows? Maybe one day my mind and body will agree to let me sway like a real dancer. Until that day comes, I'll keep taking my dance moves everywhere music plays. Even if I end up disgracing my lineage, just ignore me haha!
