I became a mother at the age of 29, I married at the age of 27 and get pregnant at 28. My pregnancy is good and I never struggled that much. The first trimester is okay and I am so grateful for that.
I am in a plant based diet during my pregnancy and all of us especially myself expected for a normal delivery of my baby but unfortunately a day before my expected delivery date my blood pressure rise up, my baby's heartbit falls down that the OB declares for an emergency CS.
I have my mind, three days after the operation. I woke up with catheter, there's IVF or dextrose in my other hand and blood transfusion in my other hand plus there is an oxygen. In my mind, I asked, what happened to me. I don't know everything from the operation room. My last memory is when the anesthesiologist introduce herself to me. The rest that happened inside the operating room, I don't know, I was asleep.
The above-mentioned experienced makes me afraid of being pregnant again. I have a lot of fears and what ifs in my mind. What if I will die in the second time of pregnancy or giving birth? My son is still so small and still needs me. What if I will experience worst than that? I really have fear of being pregnant again.
As time goes by, I and my husband felt pity on our son having no sibling. We are thinking for the future, he don't have someone to lean on, to call on if ever we were gone on this earth. He don't have someone to call a brother or a sister.
From that time, we decided, I decided to ask God for a second baby after six long years. We are praying to God for a second baby, hoping a good health for me and hoping that my first experience won't be repeated.
We stopped our family planning control and praying to God for a second baby. Since my first born is boy, we are praying for girl but off course whatever will be given to us we would be happy to have it.
Days, weeks, months and year passed and I never get pregnant. I am getting older day by day and I thought I won't be pregnant again. It seems that we lost hope because its been a year that we are waiting for it. We never mind the plan and I even stopped monitoring my period and surrender everything to God. If He would give us another baby, we would be happy. If not, maybe He has a better plan for us.
In the third month of the following year, I wonder that my menstruation didn't visit me yet. Since I never monitored my period I wonder when was the last date that I had it.
Everytime I went to the shop of my sister in law, I always bring an extra underwear and sanitary napkin just in case my period will come but a week past but it didnt come.
I told my husband about it and he said that it is better if it won't come. It was Friday afternoon when I decided to buy a pregnancy test. I even choose the cheapest pregnancy test, lol.
I woke up around one in the morning to pee and in my excitement I decided to take the pregnancy test.
I do it alone silently with mixed emotions. I am excited to know if I am really pregnant and on the other side of my mind, still there is fear thinking of my first experience.
As I dropped my urine sample on the pregnancy test, I really looked at it waiting for the result until I saw something like the color of the blood and two red lines were visible.
Woaaah! It is really positive! I am indeed pregnant.
I woke up my husband and show him the result. He said is that true? Is it real? A question with a smile. At last! We will be having a second baby.
Early in the morning, we also told our son about the baby in the womb. At first he said that we are just joking but we told him that it is really true. He smiles and wanted a baby boy so that he will have twins, lol. I don't know where he get that idea. His father told him that there are twins who is boy and girl too.
We said that there is baby in my womb and he will be a an older brother someday. He is happy and felt excited about it too.
We prayed for a good health for the whole family especially for me and the baby in my womb.
Second baby is indeed an answer to our prayer last year and unexpected blessing this year.
May God be with me always on this second pregnancy journey.
Thank you so much for reading my #pregnancydiary.
