The general understanding about learning is that it is the process of gaining knowledge, skills and new perspectives.
From our childhood, learning has always been a duty. From schools, adults, our parents and personal life experiences, we are encouraged to learn, because it is the stepping stone to living a wisdom-filled life.
However, often times as grownups, what we've learnt in the past might not always be enough to lead us through life. And as we move through life, we realize that some of the things we were taught and some things we've learnt were actually wrong, and if we must achieve growth, it is important that we unlearn such things.
Through the course of my life, there are beliefs, habits, ideas and mindsets that I have come to unlearn and let go of because I realized that they no longer serve me.
For example, as a child, I learnt that failure is bad. I was brought up to never give room for failure because it makes one’s life miserable. Back then, I always tried everything possible even if it meant cheating in exams to make sure that I never failed. But I’ve grown to understand that failure does not really make one miserable; in fact, failure teaches growth. When we fail, we understand our mistakes and rise up even stronger.
Hence, I had to let go of my previous beliefs about failure and I unlearned the fear of failure which had blinded me and hindered my psychological growth, and since then life has been easier.
Also, in friendships and relationships, I had learned that for a friendship or relationship to work, I must please everyone even if it meant becoming the unhappy one. I was taught that happiness was the sacrifice to make to achieve strong friendship, and whenever there was a fight, I'd blame myself even if the fault isn't originally from me. I always felt and thought I was the problem, and I pushed myself past my limits just to please people and force friendships to work.
But as I grew, I realized that such mindsets were just manipulative and toxic. I unlearned these mindsets because I understood that my happiness matters too. Sacrificing my own happiness and peace just to please everyone does not make me a good person, and it wouldn't stop them from hurting me still.
There are so many beliefs and ideas I've let go. Not that they were wrong in the first place, but in order to grow, I must adjust and let them go, thus unlearning them.
In conclusion, it is one thing to learn, and it is another thing to unlearn what we’ve been embedded with. But it is important to understand that while learning and unlearning are two sides of the same journey; learning fills our mind with knowledge while unlearning clears away the misconceptions that limit our growth.
This means that to actually grow and attain great heights, one has to learn and unlearn every single day.
