There are so many ways to attack this topic and no one “right” way. To reduce stress and achieve more balance, I recommend some kind of journal. Pictures on your phone, a list, a phone “note”, but something to document your journey. Date the journal entries to see your progress. It’s difficult to really see your progress without documenting it. I took pictures and they show progress perfectly. Here are some ideas on getting started:
• What is your WHY????? By trying to lower stress and find balance, write down your why – what is your #1 goal.
• Ask yourself, “If I could do anything I wanted, what would it be?”. Often what you want is a far cry from your existing life. More often than not, however, what you want is possible. It may take time and planning, but the time will pass anyway. You might as well pass it moving in the direction you want.
• If your stress level is high, make a list of what exactly is causing stress. Pinpoint specifically so you can address stress individually. There may be sub-goals in stress reduction while achieving a main goal.
• Minimize. Don’t just clean and organize, reduce what you have. I can’t tell you why this works, just that the less you have, the happier you will become. You’ll know when you’re getting close and when you’re there. Your “less” will be unique so use other people’s examples as a guideline.
2.5 years ago, I worked four jobs:
• My day job as a Program Supervisor for a non-profit recruiting and training foster parents
• Hairdresser. I worked Saturdays and a couple evenings
• Online makeup business
• Writing for several companies.
My kids told me I was always working. In my head I was providing for them – it’s a big family. I told them if I worked less, I would have less money and there would be sacrifices. They wanted time with me more than money and asked me to work less. It took about ten months, but now I only work from home. I recently switched my day planner calendar and before tossing the old ones, I looked through it to transfer anything important. All I saw was that I was busy, exhausted and not getting further ahead. I was overwhelmed looking at my schedule.
Two years ago at Christmas our kids asked for no presents and a trip. The trip had to wait until school break in April, but they were good with that. I still got presents and I wish I hadn’t. I don’t think they have any memories of what they opened but the trip lives on in infamy. Again, my kids were asking for my time.
When I was stressed I was cooking less, blogging less and running less. Things that make me happy. Our home was so full of stuff that we “had to have” (and who the heck dictates that??!!) that Dane told me he couldn’t stand cleaning because he was overwhelmed. That insight made me realize I was overwhelmed too. More than I wanted to admit, so I made my own list of things I wanted to work on.
Figuring out what you really want, what is holding you back, why you want it, what is causing your stress – identifying those things – gives you direction. Making changes and seeing results gives you propulsion. I didn’t know where to begin. Everything was overwhelming. So I started with a few smaller projects.
• My car
• Media – email, facebook, files, folders, etc….
• My living room – it was the room that needed the least amount of work to get it where we wanted it to be
• My closet
• My jobs
I saw such huge results so quickly I was amazed. I stopped two jobs immediately and cut back on hair to one Saturday a month and then a few months later I stopped all together – it took about ten months total. The media cut back was pretty fast to do and I love how much less of everything I’m inundated with and how much I enjoy what remains. The living room was fantastic because it was fast to get done and not super painful to go through. Every time I walked in, I realized our entire house could feel that way. My car was quick and easy – minimizing and cleaning – and even the kids noticed immediately. My closet took months overall but each time I removed a bag of stuff I didn’t want or need it felt so good. I didn’t notice the time passing, just the relief I felt throughout the process. These smaller changes propelled me on to other rooms, other tasks.
The process of balancing takes time and is ongoing. For me it was liberating and painful at the same time if that makes sense. I agonized over some decisions and changes while others were easy. It's been over 2 1/2 years now and we live a less stressed, decluttered, minimized life. Regardless of how difficult it was, the relief has been universal. Take the plunge. Reduce stress, have more balance and believe in the process.
