I used to own a little Salon in Vancouver Washington, and during that short time I accrued a lot of debt. I was lucky enough to be let out of that contract, but I’m still paying off the debt from that mistake. The area I live in is one of the highest for cost of living in the nation, and rent is notoriously not affordable. A one bedroom, on average, is between $900-$1,000 if you want to live in a neighborhood that doesn’t have bars on the windows or next to a pawn shop, liquor store, and strip club. If you’re up for that kind of adventure, rent is a reasonable $750-$800. That’s for a one bedroom, a one bedroom!?!
I myself, prefer not to spend all of my hard earned money on a place to lie my head at night, so I found myself an alternative, it’s not ideal, but it can be entertaining. My boyfriend and I rent the front part of a house from a 60 something year old woman named Terri who’s daughter I knew in high school. Another resident of the home is a woman named Debbie. So basically my boyfriend lives in a geriatric version of Three’s company, plus one if you count me.
Debbie seemingly has 3 loves in her life; her poodle named Zoe, God, and cigarettes, not necessarily in that order, but I’m pretty sure it is in that order. Every morning I have the pleasure of listening to what her life must be like all day everyday. Because every morning is the same, this is my assumption. My bathroom is right next to her room and the walls are paper thin so i can hear everything going on in her room.
She always has a sermon on the television and I’m pretty sure the volume gets turned up when she hear’s me go into the bathroom. Sorry if this offends anyone, but I’m openly not religious, which inevitably means I need to be saved, and her turning the volume up should do the trick, right?! While the latest episode of the 700 club plays in the background I can hear her talking to her dog. Asking it questions, not a normal person would ask a dog. (I’m ok with talking to dogs, heck i do it all the time, but this is different) In between questions she patiently waits for a response, and maybe she gets one that I just can’t hear, perhaps they communicate telepathically, and I’m just the ignorant idiot who doesn’t understand their connection. Nonetheless, her and Zoe have a 15 minute conversation every morning that ends up with her asking the damn dog if it wants a ‘dink’, which I can only assume means drink, unless it’s some strange sexual request, which of course I wouldn’t understand. Some mornings Debbie needs to use the restroom while I’m in there, but hasn’t learned in her sixty something years here on earth that if she uses her words and asks for something she will receive it. Instead I hear the floor squeak outside the bathroom door, and hear multiple Long sighs that indicate she needs to use the restroom and I’m taking too long. I of course don’t speak asshole, so I wait it out to see if she ever plans on opening her big mouth which I know she knows how to use because she often complains to the owner of the home about my length of time in the restroom.
(This is Debbie)
Debbie has also complained to Terri, or so I’m told, on multiple occasions that my boyfriend and I have sex. To preface this, we do have sex, but we do so with music on so as to drown out the noises. It would take standing right in front of our door, with a glass pressed up against it, with the intent of trying to hear us, to really hear us. What I assume happens is that she is in her room in the middle of a conversation with her dog, is rudely interrupted when she hears us turn on our music, so she then must get up to investigate what’s happening by walking up to our door and straining herself to hear moans that she can confirm are in fact sounds of sin, so she can report back to the owner of the house. When she reports her findings I am told the owner of the house responds with a ‘so?’ To which Debbie replies ‘they aren’t even married’! Terri of course isn’t phased by this, so Debbie, unsatisfied by her response, returns to her room where she will stay all day listening to sermons and talking to her dog.
If you are a student and are interested in this experience, albeit less organic, you can participate in a student senior living experience. Hopefully its a little more beneficial to both participants than my experience, but overall i think it’s a great program. The following is an article that discussed this program; https://www.cbsnews.com/news/drake-university-student-living-senior-retirement-community/
