When comfort becomes something more

When does comfort contribute to your well-being, and when does it silently hold you back from growing?

When you surround yourself with people who understand the way you speak and your jokes and don’t judge you, that makes you feel comfortable—and obviously, when you’re comfortable, you feel good. In my case, even though I’m not a very outgoing person and I have a hard time making friends with whom I feel comfortable, when I do, it’s a unique experience that does me good.

But there’s also something else that, from my point of view, is synonymous with comfort: having time alone. I really enjoy doing activities with myself as my only company—reading a good book, staying home, listening to music, or even watching a movie. From my perspective, that’s even necessary, because it’s also how I recharge my social and emotional energy.

​However, over time I’ve learned something about these two things: while they can make me feel good, they can also become a double-edged sword. Although they aren’t bad things and won’t directly affect me in a negative way, they can cause me to hit small roadblocks that prevent me from moving forward or stepping outside what we call the “comfort zone.”

​When it comes to friends, I’ve been fortunate enough to have someone I could count on my whole life. However, there have been times when things changed, and clinging to good memories only caused me harm and prevented me from seeking out new friendships that would help me grow—or simply from setting healthy boundaries that, of course, would also help me improve as a person. I feel that, while friends can make your life a little more comfortable and joyful, there are times when you simply have to let people go in order to move forward.

On the other hand, I’ve grown up my whole life believing that being alone is synonymous with reflection, and reflection, of course, invites you to evaluate yourself, grow, and improve. Although it has its positive aspects and is very comfortable, the truth is that it’s also addictive. Sometimes, when I spend a lot of time alone, I want a little more of it, and this makes it very difficult later on to learn from others, make new friends, or even help others.

I feel that, although there are many physical factors that can be comfortable yet counterproductive, the truth is that in my case they’re mostly mental and emotional. If we think about it, anything can become an obstacle to your growth if you aren’t balanced. So that’s what I work on day after day: being balanced and knowing when to say yes and when to say no.