I could remember when I was in secondary school. My best friend always took the first position while I found myself in the 6th and sometimes 5th position.
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We literally did things together, she was in the same hostel as me. If she wants to study, she wakes me up for both of us to study together. We shared whatever that was brought to us during visiting day.
Since my school didn't allow provision but instead allowed fruits and bread. We start eating up our goodies from hers since her bread spoils easily while mine lasts for like two weeks.
Life was good and she was my biggest motivation. Each time I feel like doing more for myself, putting more effort.
You know how it feels when our case is raised and most people talk bad about me since my grades weren't up to her standard.
I tried really hard to meet up and she was helpful in helping out each time I had issues but then I still felt I wasn't doing enough.
Each term I still found myself in the 6th position no matter how hard I read. I became a book worm, always reading each time till we graduated. It was a healthy competition for me. I thrive to do more for myself even though I was putting up the energy and time for it but I never felt less of myself. We still remained best friends till we dispersed.
I moved on to my university days. I made really good friends that motivated me. She was like my accountability partner. I call her my reading partner. We went for night class together and we studied till morning, went back to our various locations and still come out to study early in the morning.
We both were hungry for success but things got sour along the line. Whenever we check our results and I have more grades than her she is not always happy instead she finds a way to blame me for making her fall in that grade.
At first I took it for granted but when she started to avoid me, especially both of us sitting together to write our exams I knew she was for real. Most times she checked my results without asking her to do so and silently calculate my CGP.
It was a competition for her because in her own way she's supposed to score more grades than me but I didn't take it that way. She always acts like she's better than everyone. I just have to stick around her because she motivated me to read. Each time she comes out for night class, she makes sure she calls me to tag along with her and that alone is what mattered to me. I saw improvement in my grades tagging along with her and that was all I needed but she was toxic and I had to endure her to get what I wanted.
I could remember a course I did badly in the test when the exams approached I had nothing to study. My materials were scattered, no text book to study with. I saw her with a textbook and asked if I could borrow from her but she refused. The day before the exam we went for night class together. I couldn't sleep because I was worried about this paper. Luckily, I saw her with the text book and still asked if I could borrow it but she still refused. I allowed her, when it got to 12am she asked me to wake her up after 1 hour because she wants to rest. I agreed to do so but instead she slept for 3 hours and I was able to cover up. When she woke she quickly took the textbook from me when she saw me reading it.
We both graduated together with good grades and before I took my board exams. I was so glad I wasn't studying with her, it felt like she was measuring up with me and it was so toxic to me. I climbed even higher without her being around.
