I was raised to show respect. I wasn't dragged up, I was taught to knock before I open a door. Say hello when I enter a room. Say please, Say thank you and show respect to my elders. I let another person have my seat if they need it, say polite things and help others when they need me to, not stand on the side lines and watch while someone struggles. I will hold the door for others walking behind me and say "excuse me" should I need to pass. I love people for who they are, not what I can get from them and most importantly, I was raised to treat people exactly how I would like to be treated by others. It's called respect. ~ by Dave Hedges
I can recall when I was about nine years of age, when we still had old school telephones… you know… REALLY old school telephones, like this…
…Long before the days of mobile phones or even pagers for that matter (omg… yes! I am THAT old! Haha) and phoning somebody after 8pm at night was considered simply unacceptable! It was rude, thoughtless and just plain inconsiderate! (Well that is what we were all taught anyway..)
Oh how things have changed!!!
Despite owning a business in a very “with it” industry which forces me to stay relatively up to date with all things technology, as well as the fact that I am a complete and utter social media junkie - In many respects I REALLY do struggle with some of the “lack of” in terms of old school core elements in our society today.
A little off topic from where I am ultimately going with this, but in reference to my above statement about the boundaries that used to be afforded to people regarding telephone calls in the evening… These days, I have clients who will instant message me or even call me, sometimes as late as 11.30pm at night! Now, I get that “things need to be done” and “time is ALWAYS of the essence” these days – to me… that is simply NOT acceptable!
I don’t care HOW urgent a project or deadline of mine is – if I were ever to be in such a situation (which seldom happens… compliments of OCD lol), where my lack of planning ahead caused a result of urgency… I certainly would NOT make that somebody else’s problem at that time of night!
I just don’t get it!
Now, getting to the part that I had intended to get to…
I can recall Jude’s first week at “big school” – The school has pretty tight security and the guards on duty know all the kids by name and they greet you every single time you arrive and every single time you leave…. After about 10 days or so, We were walking through the entrance gates and they greeted Jude. Jude didn’t even acknowledge them AT ALL! Well, I am sorry, but where I come from this is UNACCEPTABLE – so needless to say, Jude got a “klip” on the back of his head with a remark from me telling him to turn around, go back and say good morning. Jude got such a fright when I did that and I think was quite shocked – but he went back and greeted them.
After which, we chatted about it and he explained that he was shy. I told him that is fine… if he is not confident enough to actually say hello, he can at the very least, turn around – smile and wave!
Well, we had reached an understanding that day about certain acceptable levels of respect that need to be shown to other people and we have never looked back! He used the smile and wave tactic for a few months and as he got to know all of them more directly, that naturally fell away and now – well now he HANGS out of the car window to SCREAM goodbye to them as they give him a “high five” or such.
My point is, that attitude (despite its valid reasoning in his little mind) is NOT acceptable. If there is a valid reason, as there was in his case, then you communicate that between one another and find a workable solution where the child is still learning that respect is an absolute necessity – even if it needs to be done in a manner which is within their sphere of comfort.
I cannot speak for other parents, but I will say this – My child will NOT become an inconsiderate, self-absorbed, rude individual that holds no respect for his elders or for people and life in general. NO! Not on my watch!
It does not matter what your family dynamic is, what your social status is, how much money you have – or don’t have… respect is something that should be instilled in each and every one of our children no matter what!
However, sadly… this very often does NOT seem to be the case these days! More often than not I am greeted with youngsters that have very clearly not even been taught how to spell the word “respect” – let alone act it!
Every single day I am confronted with kids that do not know how to let an adult walk first, they don’t greet when being greeted, they speak to you like one of their buddies, they DEMAND things of you… it is simply INSANE! I would never have DARED to DEMAND – ANYYYYTHING of my parents! What the bloody hell! Lol
Something needs to change and it has to start with us – THE PARENTS! Our children need to be taught boundaries; they need to be taught respect… I feel like an absolute IDIOT even saying this because it seems like such COMMON SENSE… but apparently it is not so much anymore… because if it was, we would not be facing the obnoxious younger generation which we very clearly are!
I realise that “corporal” punishment is no longer acceptable, but I also have NO time for this “airy fairy” approach to raising children… I mean just compare this generation of kids to those of yesteryear… NO, I am not saying you should beat your child, but what I am saying is that lessons in life are generally best learnt the HARD WAY and “explaining” things to a toddler, to my mind… is futile.
Jude has had very few hidings in his life, but the handful he has had, he will never forget – and now, not only do I have a respectful, thoughtful and considerate little man – but I also have a child that has and continues to – learn the value and importance of respect… and for that I am eternally grateful.
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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