The private is a space that is taken care of...

Saying I love you is not enough, you have to know the other to make him understand.

Grief doesn't start the day a relationship ends, it often starts earlier, when the bond was already broken inside even if it was still standing on the outside. And there are people who when they finally come out, they've already processed, they've already let go, they're already ready for something new.

But the world looks at them with the watch in their hand and disqualifies them before meeting them. The reality is that measuring a person's processes with a calendar is one of the most unfair things that exists in the context of human relationships and this applies to everything.

To Elisa, a good friend, her husband was unfaithful with her best friend, everything happened while she was recovering from a health situation, from this past experience, the need to protect ourselves from the discomfort that implies knowing someone for real, with history, with layers, with everything that a real human being brings, is not easy.

Now, Elisa (which may have happened to you) preferred to break up with her husband, before getting involved, with another person who was flirting with her, demanding certainty where there is still a process, is to leave convinced that she made the right decision, although it seems “maturity and criteria”, in reality it is fear.

Repairing a relationship after an infidelity requires constant emotional availability, such as being present when there are questions, being patient when there are doubts and being consistent when time seems to be not moving forward. It is not a linear path, but it is the only one that rebuilds security. And that fear, as long as we don't work on it with professional help, will continue to make decisions for us.

We deserve uncomfortable conversations before emotional disappearances, because crises usually get a bad name, and not without reason. These are moments that challenge our stability and plunge us into uncertainty. But have you ever stopped to think about what is really hidden behind a crisis? Beyond the stress and chaos, there are opportunities that only arise when everything seems to be falling apart.

Sometimes it's not the fight itself that hurts, but the scenario where it happens. When a conflict is exposed in front of others, it ceases to be a disagreement and becomes something that touches the dignity and intimacy of the relationship.

The next time we face a crisis, we should look at it as an invitation to redefine, to take charge of our lives and turn it into a catalyst for change. It is always good to make a map to discover the opportunities for growth that are hidden in the midst of chaos, and transform adversity into our greatest strength... and you, you become an observer or you throw yourself for that love, what would you do?

Janitze 💐