I was a seriously misdiagnosed child,
and, was often mistaken for being shy.
Quietude is not necessarily a precursor
for shyness. I was, still am, always will be
reserved. It is spelled, R-E-S-E-R-V-E-D!
Not a timid or bashful bone in my body.
If only those so easily fooled ages ago
had glanced harder, looked much closer?
Surely, my sparkling Irish eyes would have
given the truth away; I was scrutinizing YOU!
Even at ages two or three, before the words
fully formed, prior to an extensive vocabulary,
I was searching data banks, scanning my brain
for your very particular box. Analyzing, and yes!
Most often criticizing YOU! Compartmentalizing.
(Oops, my German roots are showing!)
The spoken word does not necessarily flow
so easily from us all. But, the lack of a voice
does not necessitate having nothing to say.
Trust me, if I ever have something to say?
It will be heard, most often with expletives.
My advice? It is best just to "duck & cover."
Not convinced? Examine the meaning of shy.
"Lacking self-confidence?" Ha ha, my ego
is fucking enormous! I can barely contain it.
"Showing nervousness or timidity?"
Okay, well... I will cop to the nervousness.
Humans tend to make my skin crawl, sorry.
(Brutal honesty can be a character flaw.)
"Sheepishness?" Never been one to follow a herd.
"Reticent?" My thoughts & feelings are most often
not ever on display. Nudity? Oui. Exposure? Non!
"Self-effacing?" Ha ha, I have been so accused.
But, for purposes of this poem? I plead The Fifth!
Of course, so far we have only been exploring
the adjective; "shy." The verb, on the other hand?
Truth be told? I absolutely do always shy away
from human interaction, as a misanthrope must.
