In order to understand love, you must know these key things about love. Understanding love and what it is will help you to relate with it properly and guide yourself from deceptive people that would want to use love to manipulate you.
Love can influence your feelings that doesn't mean that it's a feeling. Happenings around you easily influence your feelings because feeling is dependent on external factors. But love is not dependent on such external factors. love for something or someone isn't dependent on happenings around that thing but what that thing actually is.
This is the reason why regardless of what some of the people we love do to us, we still choose to love them.
The proof that you love someone is shown in how you treat and relate with such someone. Without action, love is not complete.
You don't actually love anything you can't commit to. Claiming to love someone and refusing to commit yourself to such someone is a proof that your love claim is false. You can use this to know those that actually love you and those that are with you for what they can get.
You can't claim to love two people at equally at same time. That's a big deception. Romantic love is for one person at a time. Anything that makes you deviate from such is termed "cheating ".
You can't love someone and not show it. There will be this innate urge in you to demonstrate your love for such a person. You just can't hold it back or stop it. It just comes naturally. This is whatI I call " the intoxicating effect of love".
You can't love something or someone and treat it carelessly. Love protects everything it owns. This is why some people get jealous and aggressive when someone is trying to take what they love. Love will fight for what it owns: it doesn't let go easily.
Love doesn't look out for its own benefits but the benefits of others.
Love seeks to nourish and build up anything it is directed at. Hurt is not an attribute of love. It's people that hurt not love. Someone can only take advantage of your love to hurt you. Don't give up on love when they do. Just feel sorry for them that they don't have any love in their hearts to give. They must be living in serious miseries for not having any love to give that is why they can easily hurt those that love them. So when next someone hurts you, just know that it's not love that hurts you but a heart that is devoid of love.
Love can never compel you to do anything that is against your will or manipulate you for self gain. Love always considers what's best for you and your interests.
You can't love someone and not willingly want to sacrifice for such person. You do things willingly and without cajoling for those you love. you derive more pleasure by sacrificing for those you love. This is one of the aspects of love that makes it very interesting.
Love doesn't always seeks its own way or ideas, it considers those of others as well. Love also understands that no one is perfect, thus it willingly tolerates the inadequacies of others and show them kindness.
Love hides nothing and holds nothing back. When love says "yes", it is a "yes" and vice versa.
I know self improvement is important in a relationship but anyone that can't accept your person, cannot love you. Acceptance is a very key aspect of the love decision. Even if you'll have to work on yourself, it shouldn't be a condition for you to get the love of your partner. It should be because you want to improve on yourself so that your relationship will be more blissful. Love accepts you for who you are and supports you to become the best person you dream of becoming.
Love makes you forgive easily without keeping a record of past hurts.
Anyone that can't be faithful to you doesn't love you. Yes, I know that some of us may get carried away some times and err. That is quite understandable. Anyone that continuously disrespect you by being unfaithful to you doesn't love you. Love stairs faithfulNess in us and cause us to preserve ourselves for only those we love.
Don't be deceived, love is not sex. Sex is an act that is supposed to be stirred by love. It is not love and it's not a template for judging who loves you and who doesn't. Love is much more different and deeper than sex.
Love is not a commodity that is sold in the market place. It can't be bought with either money, sex or kindness. Love bought is not love and will certainly fade away when a higher bidder comes along. Love is a priceless jewel that can't be bought.
When love is feed with the right food (respect, consideration, care, faithfulness, support, understanding, communication, tolerance, appreciation, etc) it grows. And when love is starved of the right food, it starts dying slowly until it is no more.
The first person that is required to show you love is "you". That is where you get the experience of how to love others. If you don't love yourself, you won't have an understanding of what love truly is and you'll find it difficult loving others.
Love is both simple and complex at the same time. If we can understand some of this simple attributes of love, we will understand when someone truly loves us or they are trying to use us through love.
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