Lately, I have been making a major exception to my standard policy of not airing dirty laundry on the internet, but this is because I am feeling unprecedented stress from the mess surrounding me at the moment.
First, I always deal with chronic pain and fatigue. I have basically given up on modern medicine. I am tired of the expense and effort for no return. The discovery of food allergies, and resultant diet modification, has done a lot of good, but that brings its own stresses because dairy is hidden in almost everything in American commercial food products.
At work, the quarantine pressure is making life difficult. I run adult programs, but I can't hold programs. So I have been building grab-and-go craft kits with instruction sheets and supplies in Ziploc bags. I'm short on ideas I can easily present in this format though. And the constant shift from open to closed to open with curbside to open with restrictions to who knows what comes next is no fun at all. I can't plan anything long-term.
Then come the family issues. One family member is losing a war with alcoholism at the moment, and I can't do anything about it. I'm also burning out from trying to help other family members deal with the fallout of alcoholism. My sister also can't seem to break herself out of a bad relationship with an abusive jerk.
But to make matters worse, I had to make a midnight drive to bring her to the ER due to her reaction to the stress on top of other preexisting health issues. I don't begrudge the trouble, but it did not help my personal health. Late drives don't bother me, but I had to drive in an unfamiliar area, deal with hospital admission, and then go find a motel on a Friday night/Saturday morning in summer. Quarantine or no, vacancies were hard to find, and an unimpressive room with two beds set me back a lot more than seems appropriate. But it's a good thing I got it. She called around 3 AM to say she was wanting me to pick her up from the hospital. So I brought her back to the motel after a detour for food.
A fitful sleep filled the rest of the morning until about 9:30. Then I drove her home and managed to survive a short Saturday library shift.
One bit of good news! I have the Indomitus box set for Warhammer 40,000. Expect some unboxing eventually. But not tonight. Maybe not tomorrow, either. I am at the ragged edge of what I can handle from life at this point.
