One of the most remarkable human relationships in the history of socializing is "friendship". As social beings, we meet at least one friend in our entire life. Oxford Dictionary defines "friend" as a person with whom one has developed a close and informal relationship of mutual trust and intimacy; (more generally) a close acquaintance.
Having a friend means a lot to a person. He/she could be the one whom you share your darkest secrets with. He/she could be your best buddy, your confidant. A person who will never betray you no matter what until the end. In most cases, he/she becomes part of your family. Sometimes, your friendship extends through time. If your friendship lasts for more than eight years, chances are your friendship will last 'til the end of time.
But the important question is, why do friendships wane over time, and eventually end?
I believe friendships wane overtime because of the following reasons:
It is important to bear in mind that you will never be the only friend your friend will ever have for the rest of his life. Eventually, your friend will meet other people who have the same wavelengths, inclinations, dislikes, hobbies, interests, and even the same shenanigans. At some point in our life, we will meet people who are as crazy as we are. Once that bond is created, it is difficult to break that up.
It is also vital to note that our friends also have their own jobs to do. And in the workplace, it is essential to find friends or else work will be very unbearable. It is in the same reason why your friend no longer have time for you, because he spends it on his newly-found friends. It is necessary to do, since it will be very hard if you have no friends at work and corollary, it will adversely affect your work.
It is in the best interest of your friend to choose things that are vital or beneficial towards his work. It is called "self-preservation". Your friend will choose to spend time to those who are at work in order to advance himself. Anyone would naturally do that, and of all the people, you should be able to understand it. Your friend might regard your friendship now as of little to no value in his current line up of priorities.
Human as we are, we have our own set of priorities, and in the hierarchy of needs, friendship only comes third or maybe even fourth. Your friend has his own priorities to focus on and fulfill, and so should you. Veer away from the idea that your friend should focus on your friendship alone.
Once we build friendship towards other people, it is important to note that trust is an essential part in order to preserve this kind of relationship and keep it going. Once that trust is broken, it can never be mended. Your friendship will never be the same. You might be able to patch things up, work on it, but it will never be the same as before. You will notice that there is already a gap in your friendship.
There comes a point in our lives were our friends ask help from us financially or vice versa. Of course, it is in our best interest to help them since he is your friend after all, and you are the only one who can help him financially, if you have the means. But the problem is, once you already ask your friend to pay for what is due, your friend has all the reasons in the world to never repay it. So, what happens is, everything goes down south. Eventually, your trust is broken, your friendship is already problematic, and eventually your friendship will be over. When it comes to money, it is all hell breaks loose.
You are friends with your friend because there is one thing that your friend wants or needs from you. Once that want or need is satisfied, they no longer want you, or they do not want anything that has something to do with you.
This is true especially when you have different political beliefs. A lot of friendships have ended over time because of this reason. They always say to "agree to disagree" but in most cases, this aphorism is never applied or realized in real life. When there is a clash between different beliefs, there will be tendencies that one would take it so low, to the point of making it really personal.
Distance and communication matter in friendships. Friendships become stronger when friends are just near, or when friends are just one call or text away. There is really a huge difference when you friends are there physically. But there are times when friends need to go away, or settle on the other side of the world to fulfill there priorities in life. When this happens, be understandable and pray for their health, safety, and well-being.
Unless your friend has amnesia or short-term memory loss, your friends tend to forget you because they no longer see you as beneficial, or you haven't talked or connected in a while, or they are just busy building their own lives, or just simply, they want to cut you off of their lives. If you believe this is the reason, just pray for them and wish them success.
If you have experienced or can relate to any of the reasons mentioned above, just bear in mind that this is purely subjective and has no scientific basis. This could be true or not to any person. Just because you no longer talk or see each other for a long time, doesn't mean that they no longer value you. Sometimes a simple hello or message of finding out if they are well makes a significant difference.
However, you just keep going, the important thing is, you do you, as long as you are not hurting anyone or aggravating anybody, you should be fine. Also, pray for strength and guidance from our God Almighty as He is always in control. His plans are bigger than our plans. Your friend(s) may not be always there for you, but they are cheering and rooting for you from afar, they always wish the best for you and that you succeed in whatever endeavor you are working on.
Friends may come and go, but your memories will forever be etched in your hearts. Say a little prayer for them and wish them well. As long as you are not bitter and your intentions are pure. In that way, you will be at ease that wherever they are in the world, you never forgot about them. Feel free to add your own reasons by commenting down below. Thank you.
