I could not tell whose face stared back at me from the mirror. I stepped back to smoothen the wrinkles in the dress I had on, turning my head this way and that to observe how well the bronzer highlighted my cheekbones. I could feel my eyes tearing up so I turned away from the mirror and tried as hard as I could not to blink.
Source
"Birthday girl, you can't stop admiring yourself now can you?"
I tried to return Janice's smile as she came to fuss over my hair; brushing, smoothening, and rearranging it for the umpteenth time.
"Are you sure this color of lens suits me? I look weird and feel like taking them off"
Janice smiled and shook her head
"Do they make you uncomfortable?" I shook my head in the negative
"Then allow them, they look even better on you than they did on me"
I brushed off a tear that had escaped my already watering eyes but carefully enough so that Janice didn't notice, then tried with much effort to pick the rest of my accessories with my artificial nails.
"Babe let's head out, I've called the studio already!"
I had the opportunity to call Janice back and let her know that this was the most uncomfortable outfit I had worn in my entire life; That I wasn't accustomed to heels and that I hated how I looked with all that heavy makeup, that I could not pick things up with the outrageously long nails and I was developing a headache because of the contact lens but… well, no. Instead, I convinced myself that she was doing all of this for my good and hurried up to catch up with her. Janice was my favorite human.
She was the direct opposite of me, people tagged her as wild and unreserved but to me, she was the greatest motivation; The one who said what she had to say without mincing words and did all she wanted to do without reservation.
"Make hay while the sun shines Tee" she would say to me "When you're old there's a limit to what you can do or enjoy."
So I made up my mind to try out everything there was to try and execute every plan my mind conceived starting with having the most wild photos for my birthday shoot, I didn't just think I wouldn't enjoy the experience. After the photoshoot session, I hurried home to free myself of all the inconveniences I had and dropped on the bed to nap without even bothering about dinner.
A persistent call woke me up the following day.
"Happy birthday Teeeee!" It was Janice
"Thanks, babe"
"Have you posted your pictures? They're causing traffic on my WhatsApp status already!" I thanked her for her wishes, endured her teasing some more then turned my mobile data on to see what was going on in the social media space.
I had received a lot of congratulatory messages already and a huge grin was plastered on my face as almost everyone made special reference to my new look. I didn't want to spend time replying to everyone who had sent a text message but one text caught my attention.
"Hi Treasure, happy birthday to you. I hope you find yourself in this new year. All the best dear"
What did he mean by 'I hope you find yourself'? I wanted to send a reply on impulse, a typical Janice response but I stopped myself and typed just,
"Thank you for your wishes Mark"
I thought that was going to be the end of it but he sent another message almost immediately
"Can I give you my honest opinion on something?"
I was beginning to get impatient. Where was he going with everything? What did he want to say exactly? It took me some time to type "sure".
Was he going to say my picture was enticing? Was he going to ask me to be his girlfriend? I got really anxious when he spent about 10 minutes typing. At some point, I found myself pacing. I was on the message immediately when my phone beeped.
"I'm sorry if this is going to upset you, Treasure, but I have to tell you the truth. I think you need some time alone to yourself, time to rediscover yourself. Your pictures are beautiful, but when I saw them I knew whose idea it was. Behind all the makeup, smiles, and poses, deep down, the real, Treasure, is crying for expression. Don't stifle her trying to be someone else…."
I didn't even want to read the rest. My eyes were blurry with tears already, my hands were trembling. I tried to convince myself it was anger. After all, who made him a judge over my life? Who told him he knew me? He was just my coursemate, I was sure he didn't even know my last name.
But I walked back to the mirror and looked. Indeed behind the charade, the real Treasure was crying desperately for expression. It was then I knew I had always been under the influence of Janice. I came to terms with the fact that Treasure had been tucked away nicely by Janice. She had replicated herself in me subconsciously.
There and then I sent a reply to Mark, "Thank you. This is the best gift I received this year"
Then I made the resolution I had been scared of all along, I made sure to write it boldly on a sticky note and pasted it on my mirror since I stood before it every morning - NO MORE LIVING FOR JANICE, FIND TREASURE!
