You would encounter the happy and peaceful part of yourself; life would just make sense to you mysteriously, and that's how it's supposed to be ideally.
Sarah was my junior in high school, but we weren't friends because I was four years ahead of her, the high school seniority vibe won't let me.
Sarah was quite reserved and decent. She respects me so much and wherever she sees me, she doesn't hesitate to greet me.
Years later, after high school, I went for service on a Sunday. At the entrance, someone tapped me from behind and when I turned, it was Sarah.
She smiled and bent her head slightly. “Good morning, senior.”
She has grown up, and she looks pretty. The small Sarah I knew then is now an adult. I was overwhelmed by the honor and of course caught by her beauty.
“How are you?” I replied with a fat smile on my face.
“Fine, she beamed.
Immediately, I went closer to her and we walked into the auditorium together, the ushers directed us to the same place and we sat together.
The service was one of the best for me; aside from the powerful sermon that was delivered, Sarah was fun to sit with.
When the preacher cracks some jokes, we look at each other and burst into laughter and discuss certain points he makes in whispers.
After the service, I walked her home; her house was just a few metres from mine, and they had just relocated there recently.
We actually exchanged phone numbers and began chatting on WhatsApp. I won't lie from the time I saw her at the church’s entrance. I liked her, but it wasn't good to rush things for a number of reasons: I was still trying to heal from a breakup that had kept me down for months, and she looked up to me like a mentor.
It was such a complicated situation. We took some time chatting and getting to understand each other.
Fortunately, the feeling was mutual.
I began seeing signs when she kept asking why I was not in a relationship and emphasizing how she feels safe around me.
But I couldn't muster the courage to spill what's in my mind. We became so close, as friends, so much that she visits me and I visited her too, occasionally.
Each time I tried to open up to her, something kept holding me back.
During that time, she was seeking admission into the state University and we prayed about it together several times because of how difficult it was to secure admission to the institution.
We arranged to meet one Saturday evening. I was well prepared to see her; in fact, that was the day I intended to express my feelings to her.
But my phone was about to shut down, and I had a meeting to attend. So, I dropped her an offline message.
“Hi dear, I'll be going for a meeting, but it won't take long; I will be back before you even realize. My key is at the opening in my window; please wait!” I attached two teary and one pleading emoji.
I waited for her to reply but she was not online. My chest hurt, I was uncomfortable and restless.
When time for the meeting reached, I left the house and dropped the key, hoping that she would turn up.
At the meeting, I was not focused; each time I heard or felt a vibration on my phone, I rushed to check if it was her.
Finally, I checked, and she replied, “okay, I am coming right now, but I won't stay too long. Please don't waste time.”
I was happy, “okay dear,” I replied like someone that a heavy burden has been lifted from.
Unfortunately, the meeting took longer than I expected. I was just boiling inside as soon as the chairman closed, I didn't wait to greet my acquaintances, I hurried home.
When I returned, I saw my key in the same spot I left it. My mood went off instantly, and my phone had already shut down.
When I opened the door, the entire room was filled with a sweet scent. It was so nice, I had to take some time just to allow it to satisfy my sense of smell.
But that didn't change the fact that my mood was still ruined. I dropped the file I was carrying on the bed, only to see a note and a pen on top of it lying on the bed.
“Hey, dear, I came around and spent some moments in the room, but you weren't coming, and Mommy was calling.
Hey, I don't know how to say this, but seriously, I like you, and I wish we could have something more than friendship.
You are someone who has affected my life immensely, I can't thank you enough; just know that you mean the world to me.
I got that admission, yeah, our prayers worked. Unfortunately, I am traveling to my hometown, and from there, I will be going to school.
I wish we could see each other before I leave, but it's not possible. I am writing this with much distress in my heart, I do care about you so much. Bye, until next time.”
Gosh, I didn't know when tears began dropping from my eyes, just when I thought I had it, it was gone.
I folded the paper neatly and placed it in my diary. When I logged into my WhatsApp after I finally charged my phone, I saw her missed calls and messages. But they only hurt me the most.
I called her, and we spoke; I did everything possible to see her that evening before she traveled, to no avail. Dad was around, he doesn't like male friends coming to the house.
We continued talking, but with time, the energy dropped, and distance became a barrier. Later on, we lost the bond and that was how everything vanished into thin air.