We all know too well the feeling of being stuck in bed with indigestion. In my case, it was my girlfriend's couch on a Monday morning. She had invited me to over for dinner a week ago. Now she was calling me just to make sure I didn't forget.
"Okay honey, I'll be there by 6 pm.", I replied as I checked the food cooking on the stove.
I arrived at 8 pm. Before you judge me, let me explain.
My girlfriend's house was just a 10-minute drive and it was still 5 pm. Thinking I had a little time, I stopped by my own personal modern farm to check on my herd. I loved my herd. They were very well provided with food, water and, entertainment. I watched them play for a couple minutes before leaving. "I love you guys!", I called out before I left. Most of them ignored me.
As I turned around, I noticed one of my pregnant lovies was in labor. As soon as I came closer, it was evident that I had to help. The head was already crowning and by the time I came with a cloth, her child fell right into my arms. It was a heart-melting moment. I cleaned the mess up and by the time I checked the time, it was already past 6 pm!
I had a quick shower, changed into a fresh set of clothes and wrapped the now cooked food. It was emanating all sorts of mouthwatering scents. I left at 7:30 and arrived at 8. The road was unusually slippery, I had to slow down.
Good thing my girlfriend was all sweet and understanding. The date wasn't ruined! We helped ourselves to food and wine until the wee hours of the morning. I woke up the next day unable to stand. Hangover and indigestion don't go easy on you when they come together.
"Honey, my stomach hurts!", I called out as loud as my head could tolerate. "Call a doctor!"
These were the last words I remember blurting out before passing out, "Damn that human meat that tastes too good!"
Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you my name. It's Bison and my girlfriend's name is Moo-Moo.
Thank you for reading this difficult freewrite. 
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