"I can't do this"
"Yes you can"
"No I can't"
"Stop bitching and just put the fucking pants on" -- Anon Guest
"I keep telling you to hire a tailor with a tail. Your kind always get the tail hole wrong." Viceroy "Loyalty" Merrimine squirmed into the offending clothing. Despite both brother's best efforts, there was the distinct sound of thread snapping. "Damnit..."
His older brother -by twenty minutes, as he kept reminding his twin- sighed and said, "I'll get the sewing kit. You were right. You told me so. Honestly, kids your age can be so childish..."
"Keep digging, brother-dear. It doesn't change the fact that I was right." He grinned a very pointy smile at his brother[1]. "You old codgers never listen to the concerns of the young." Now down to his drawers again, he sat with the offending pants, turning them inside-out and contemplating where he needed to sew and how in order to preserve both dignity and the line of the outfit at the same time.
Viceroy Jubilation Merrimine handed over the sewing kit. "We still have some of that springing ribbon, right?"
"Jubes... I make a point of always having three yards of it. We've had this trouble before." Since this was not another round of reciprocal age-based infighting, he skipped making a jibe about his brother's memory issue.
"Just looking after you, Appi." Only Jubilation was allowed to call him 'Appi', the short form of his birth name - Apprehension. This because of the emotions felt by their father on each birth. Jubilation for the human son, Apprehension for his Tiefling brother.
"You kind of have to." They both suffered the other's pains, thanks to a bizarre link they'd shared from birth. "Kind of a bitch, that."
"Yeah," agreed Jubilation. "On the plus side, we can get drunk for half the price."
"Sick for half the price, too," having matched colours, Loyalty sewed a repair for his pants with quick, efficient motions. He was too used to doing things like this. Except when the tailor knew what they were doing.
"Oof, don't remind me." Jubes clutched at the memory of pain in his stomach. "How did you make it when I was suffering?"
"I knew it wasn't me. I bulled through it," Loyalty paused for the mandatory joke about having the horns for that. "I had to. We came in together. We're doomed to go out together." He inspected his work. The pants would hold together, at least for the evening.
"Speaking of going out together..." smirked Jubes.
"Why did I agree to this?" moaned Loyalty, wriggling into the fancy pants in question.
"Because you're my brother and I owe you a good time," said Jubes. "And a match who suits you. Think of it, all the best flowers of society on parade."
"Most of whom will run screaming at the sight of your dear baby brother," sniped Loyalty.
"Stop it, you look gorgeous."
"I look like the antagonist in every morality play, stuffed into a nice suit."
"Appi..." warned Jubes.
Flaming eyes rolled. "Ugh. Fine. Let's do this."
Arm in arm, the twin Viceroys of Merrimine stepped out to greet high society for the first time.
[1] Were the younger Viceroy any other creature but a Tiefling, the smile might be pointed.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Alody]
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