"Okay, I'm going to ask again, and this time you better give me an answer that makes some fragging sense... HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL SANITY DO YOU 'MISPLACE' AN EIGHT-FOOT-TALL PIG-MAN?!" -- Anon Guest
"Okay, firstly, the correct term is Peccaroid..."
"Actually, firstly, the matter at hand is how the hell they managed to go missing. If the cops see them, they're going to wind up in some super-luau."
"Or on the force?" Lucas attempted a grin, but the joke wasn't that funny, even the first time. "Okay, so I swear they were right behind me when I went into the kitchen to fix us some food, but when I turned around..."
Alice sighed. "You turned around for just a second, oh my god..." She took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay. Let's think like our friend the Peccaroid..."
"Um," said Lucas. "I'm big and I don't speak good English, and I love mushrooms beyond reason and--" lightning inspiration struck and he dashed out the other door. "FAIRY RING!"
Alice dashed after him to the backyard, where their humongous, porcine friend was cheerfully harvesting fungi from the fairy ring that had cropped up in their yard over the previous week. Neither Lucas nor Alice knew if any of those fungi were poisonous or not.
Their strange new friend sniffed them and ate them without apparent harm.
Alice and Lucas took in the spectacle. "We are gonna have to invest in some home mushroom farms."
"Yeah."
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Sportactive]
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