When I was a child...
When I was little little, I don't remember. My mom told me a story once of how I was upset with her because the Muppet Babies weren't on, and I believed my parents controlled the TV.
Then we moved to Wisconsin, and I remember having strict restrictions on how much TV I could watch. I don't remember a precise number, but I know it wasn't a lot. I mean, obv at the time it seemed like not a lot, but also, even in retrospect I think it wasn't a lot. Like 30 minutes a week? No, that's probably not true. I know I WAS allowed to watch movies with mom, but not TV? Hmmm. I wish I had a clearer memory of all that.
Then when I was 10, my mom organized a big shindig for my dad's 50th birthday party. We moved everything out of the living room, including the TV.
And then, at least as large as it lives in my memory, we didn't put the TV back for over a year.
Then finally, we did put the TV back, and less than 24 hours later, a wind storm blew down the antennae. And that was it for TV for the rest of my childhood.
I watched the Star Wars trilogy over and over again, and Midnight Train to Moscow. Loads of older videos were available. The restrictions were still in place, but I would sneakily watch while my dad was out in the field and my mom was napping.
I remember getting to see some TV in other places. When I went to my cousin's house (Well, I suppose it was my Aunt and Uncle's house), we would disappear to his room to watch his box set of Star Trek or Stargate. He had a computer with a DVD player. Nice. Or I'd watch him play video games. Which were also restricted for me...lol.
The point here, though, is that when I was a kid, I told my parents that I was missing out on a shared cultural moment and that I wouldn't be able to relate to the people around me. This was, at the time, mostly an excuse. (Also, I acknowledge that that doesn't sound like the way kids talk. I definitely complained that I wouldn't be able to talk to the other kids about the stuff they were talking about while waiting in line).
I believed my parents that this wasn't really a problem. That there were other things to talk about, and that I wasn't missing much.
But they were wrong. Being an adult is, to a large extent about having shared cultural context from your childhoods. Strangers don't know about the local news from my childhood, but they all know The Simpsons, or...other shows that were popular in the 90s THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Things that people feel like are deep cuts to test if you were really a 90s kid, and I can't pass those tests...
Like, for example, my wife told her professor she was going to be...
this story is complicated if I tell it truthfully, so instead I'll tell the core relevant bits, but will simplify the details to such an extent that it's not true, but it is relevant:
A professor said, "oh, you're from Wisconsin! Ha! Finish this sentence! 'Just one call...'"
And I couldn't because I'd never seen the commercial that apparently played ALL THE TIME on local Wisconsin TV, that, if I go to look for it, apparently has a cult following. It's a strong identity marker for some, and sure that's not a big deal in a strong friendship, but also, building friendships is easier if you can start with a good, "ha! Yes, we have the same cultural context!" someone is trying to create a little bond with you, and it falls flat, that makes it just that much harder to build a relationship, and it's already hard enough!
Plus, I'm in this industry. Furthermore, I'm an improviser. Getting references is valuable. If someone shouts as a suggestion, "In the genre of 90s sitcom!" I might have a couple touchstones just because I've absorbed our culture, but I don't have the context of having grown up with those running through my head. And writing-wise, you want to know, understand all those...
Oh, it's a lot. It really is. And yes, I could watch more now. And I do, but it's not the same as being steeped in it.
So Mom and Dad, I was right even if I didn't know I was right. There was something valuable lost when you didn't let me steep myself in - or even dip my toe into - the contemporary pop culture of my youth.
But thanks for the things I did have. I do still like trees a lot.
